All posts by Rebecca Halton

When the Heart Divided is Yours

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A sobering moment early this morning: I was sitting on the couch. My opened Bible on my lap. I would intermittently sip from my mug and stare at the tree in the front yard, excited about the bright green buds on its winter-worn branches. I glanced at my Bible, gently swiping through the delicate pages and hoping a passage would pop out at me. That’s when I realized: I was peering at the pages past a social…

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The Key to Human Trafficking?

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What if the key to combatting human trafficking is within reach? As I studied human trafficking in grad school, I realized: I believe our BEST chance of sustainably reducing the number of captives is by decreasing the number of customers. That means fewer men (and women) who would PAY for forced labor or services from a sex slave. At its core, human trafficking is a business. Which means it hinges on some classic principles, too. Like…

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Awake and Anxious

By | Encouragement | One Comment

I inexplicably woke up a couple minutes shy of 3 a.m. Again. Is it possible to be awoken by anxiety? Because there it was, hovering like someone with no sense of personal space. Or at least no respect for it. Stank-breathed. Inconsiderate. Intrusive. I tried to fall back asleep. It didn’t work this time. So I grabbed a pen and paper instead. Maybe moving them to paper could evict my anxious thoughts from my mind: March…

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A vision of hope: “She will ROAR again”

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A lioness on an operating table. Her throat was mangled. Including -- or especially -- her vocal chords. 3 figures surrounded her: 2, 1 on each side, and 1 at the head of the table. They were tending to the gash, tenderly and meticulously mending the tears in her flesh. The room was full of light. It was separated and secluded... ...out of protection, not rejection. It only seemed like she was alone; they were all...
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Hysterectomy Scheduling

By | Endometriosis, Health | No Comments

Tonight, I started to compose the message to my doctor. The subject line: “Hysterectomy Scheduling” I’ve composed a one-sentence message… …and can’t yet bring myself to click SEND. Tears are now streaming. I’m not scared of not being able to birth children. My worth as a woman isn’t defined by my womb. (And frankly, the idea of birthing children probably scares me more.) I’m simply tired of this fight already, and afraid of the unknowns of it…

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Overwhelmed Tonight

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Can I be honest? I feel overwhelmed tonight. I’ve been dodging the waves all week, but tonight they’re washing over me. Crashing into me… …tossing me against the crags of worry, anxiety, disappointment, and heartbreak. And I’m too tired. I feel slightly feverish, definitely fatigued, and completely frustrated by all that it seems I can’t control right now. I’ve learned by now that grief is the tether to my Life Saver. To just let the tears…

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Hope in the Midst of Endometriosis

By | Endometriosis, Health | No Comments

This is what a normal, healthy uterus looks like, my doctor said, pointing to the computer monitor.  This is not what yours looks like. I chuckled nervously. I just want to provide you some context for what I’m about to show you, he added. Revealing what needs healing He then scrolled through photos from my second surgery. Even with my amateur ability to interpret medical images, the photos were clearly unsettling. My body is attacking the endometriosis. It’s odd: The endometrial tissue…

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The Real Reason I Moved Back Home

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When I moved back home more than a year ago, it was one of the last things I wanted to do. I moved back home because, after years of financial difficulty following graduate school, it seemed like the responsible thing to do. Even if it's also been one of the hardest. (Anyone else with difficult family dynamics?) For most of the past year, I've been looking at the situation superficially. It's just temporary, I tell myself. Which...
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The Breeze of Hope for Tired Hearts

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There’s hope for tired hearts Tired and ready for quiet solitude at the end of a long day, I plopped onto the patio bench and began popping fresh blueberries into my mouth. Then I noticed a breeze had begun. Mid-munch, I paused and looked up at the trees lining the backyard. The branches swayed with purpose, I’m certain. This was no ordinary breeze, if there is such a thing. It has felt like such a whirlwind…

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Unconditional Love is Closer Than You Think

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Unconditional Love: Someday, you're going to meet someone. And that someone is going to love you unconditionally. Someone who sees what culture calls "flaws" and "not-enoughs," and loves you unconditionally. Someone who knows your secrets and hears your fears -- and loves you unconditionally. Someone who hears your weeping and weary heart beating -- and loves you unconditionally. Someone who is you. Ladies, unconditional love from others is surely a gift. We were designed for relationship. But...
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